ALONE AGAIN
I just had the worst day of my life
And it’s the third time this week
The dog died the transmission failed
And my wife left me.
She took the dog’s collar and bowl
Looks like she’s shopping for a new dog.

BODY ENGLISH
The first time I realized my body
Was betraying me was after seeing
A Brad Pitt movie and I came home
And looked in the mirror
The first time I realized my wife
Was betraying me was we stopped
Making love. She had been my muse
Then she ceased to amuse
All the art went out of her.

GENETICS
He was at that age when you get
To choose one from column A
And one from column B
So shortness of breath and tingling
Fingers did not surprise him…
Just that it came so soon.

His brother had quintuple by-pass
His father died of an embolism
His cousin had a heart attack
And both grandfathers had heart disease.

So he went to the chronologist
To have his ‘ticker’ checked out
Leaving the doctor’s office
He was struck by a cab
Driven by a Sikh
In this country one week
So much for Genetics.