Like I told my wife, Crazy Linda, the day before she killed me,
I’m leaving this world the same way I came in –
Broke, naked, and all by my lonesome, nobody to care
Unless you count Crazy Linda and the little country girl who left me
in the hospital when I was about 20 minutes old…

Wade – that’s my name, first, last and always
And my age – well – I’ve made up a few birthdays in my time
Mostly to get a young lady to take pity on me and let me follow her home
Always did like the little short ones – they’d get drunk real easy, too
Don’t matter much though – take Crazy Linda, she’s gotta be a good 300
(She’ll swear on a bible it’s only 250, but don’t believe much of what she says)

I did pretty well with the ladies in my time – it was my eyes that got them
Crazy Linda said they were blue as the Caribbean Sea, not that she would know
The only time she’s been out of this town was when she visited her sister in Texas
and I don’t think she’s even jumped in a swimming pool since she was a kid

When people’d ask me about my full name, I’d tell them it don’t matter
I was never much for authority, used whatever names and numbers came my way
I’d be hard pressed to remember them all, I lost track of my own lies years back
No papers, no baby pictures – almost like I was never here at all

Probably the only one who kind of misses me is Crazy Linda,
which is sort of funny since she’s the one that killed me
I bet she’s sorry about it now, since the whole thing didn’t make no sense
She ran me over with my own damn vehicle cause she didn’t want me to leave
Now I’m gone for good and couldn’t’ come back like I always did, sooner or later

I picture her sitting alone in her jail cell and I can’t help but feel a little bad for her,
Nobody to bring her those Little Debbie cakes she likes or play a hand of gin rummy
She’s probably got that one photo of me that I let her keep, leaning against the door
Crazy Linda said she loved to look at it cause the light hit my face like an ocean wave
made my eyes deep and glittery, like looking into the mad Caribbean blue sea

Puma Perl
Puma Perl is a NYC based writer and performance artist. Her poetry and fiction have been published in over 100 print and online journals and anthologies. Her first chapbook, Belinda and Her Friends, published in 2008, was awarded the Erbacce Press 2009 Poetry Award in a field of over 1400 applicants; a full length collection, knuckle tattoos, was published in early 2010.