Where i lost
my house my job my mind my people
moon of suicide attempts and activated charcoal
christmas of 5150s and restraints
discharged from the Phoenix Ward
i stared at walls Lived on a couch Lined up pills Drank cheap wine
and hired a babysitter to be mom for my kids
the shower was much too long of a walk
i stayed put sleeping through the seasons
then ran away to Paris
happy to be a wretch
sucking my lovers cock in the alleyways of Place de Clichy
i stayed drunk until noon Hoped he go back to his wife
reckless i called him bad names flirted with his brother
bought shoes and perfume then lost them Lost me
my ability to navigate between dream and myth
day or night had vanished
mouthful of xanax to stifle the screams
later i was found floating spinning on a leaf in a creek
delirious for many winters i consumed Tule fog and Nescafé
for breakfast lunch and dinner
i’m careful with my words and deeds now
and collect indigo, stars, lichen
see me beneath the madrone clamoring
animal drivel i whisper into the pines
where i make a strange ceremony
and am laria and mycelium |
Jolaoso Pretty Thunder is common woman. She lives in the woods of Northern California with her two dogs Rosie Farstar and Ilumina Holydog. She is a farmer, certified practitioner and student of herbal medicine. She is a well traveled though reluctant poet who loves southern rock, porch swings, pickup trucks, cooking, campfires, lightning, steak, long drives, hot cups of coffee, gathering and making medicine and singing with her friends and family. |
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